Nothing New Under the Sun
Since writing my previous post, I found my old journal, one I started back around 2004. My life back then was very similar to what it is now. I had just graduated college and was waiting for my family’s business to get started, so there was about 9 months of doing nothing, sitting at my parents house, playing on the computer. The only difference now is that I’m married and I only have 3 months of solitude to get ready for the Fall. I was originally thinking about getting a summer job, but my wife is having surgery in July and we’re moving in a couple of weeks and so I figured this was a good time to build a new a spiritual foundation that will hopefully carry me through seminary. Needless to say, its hard to start something that doesn’t come naturally!
So, back to my point. I was reading some entries from that time period and ran across something that was incredibly profound. I said something like: When I’m most busy, I focus less on myself and more on God’s sustaining grace, but when I’m alone, I focus on myself, complicate things, and analyze myself to the point of doing nothing. I was both shocked and humbled. Being an engineer, I love to analyze things. Apparently, at least on myself, that’s all I do is analyze, there’s no “do”. So, if you couple this with my last post, no matter how I feel at the time (because if all we did was “feel” like doing something, we wouldn’t do very much at all), I must push through it and “do” something.
So to conclude, my wife seems to be going through a similar dry season and she told me something like this: If we truly loved the Lord, we would want to do all sorts of things for him. Ouch!